April 2014 – I Run in the Rain

Peyton & the Green Running Monster

Published on April 30, 2014April 30, 2014 by Charlotte18 Comments

(Sorry for the long post but I’m talkie today)

🙂

Peyton had a bit of surgery yesterday. The vet (Dr. Jeanie Welker) wanted me to leave him all night but Peyton gets stressed when we do that so I wanted him home so I could take care of him. When I went to pick him up after his surgery, my baby could barely walk. He looked like a drunk puppy. I had tears in my eyes and she told me he was feeling NO pain. 🙂

I was happy that the lump was only a body “tag” and she removed it, stitched him up and his x-rays did show very slight dysplasia. She said it was barely noticeable and as long as we take care of him the way we have, he will live a long and healthy life. She even said he can continue to run with us, which he and Eli both love. She made me feel good by telling me how healthy both our boys were and that we were good dog caretakers for giving them appropriate medical care, keeping their weight down, giving them plenty of exercise and not letting them get fat like most people do with their dogs…especially labs.

She made a comment that I thought I’d never hear. She was discussing how Americans are getting fatter and fatter and that our dogs were getting fatter and fatter also. She said “You and I are on the smaller side but many are not” What??? me??? 🙂

FYI re: Dr. Welker – She is a small, fit, lovely woman who is a former US Naval Officer and a member of the Natural Bodybuilder Federation.

She and I (aka smaller Americans) lifted Peyton up into my car. He’s 76 lbs so that wasn’t easy. He just passed out in my lap while I was driving home! He was drugged and out most of the night.

All that made me feel great…..except for the $430! Cha-ching!

He seemed a bit groggy this morning but fine. He had a good breakfast and his daddy took him for a walk and gave him a peanut butter stuffed kong before he left for work.

I didn’t run or do any exercise last night. I just wasn’t in the mood. Tonight I will try to get in a short run and maybe some strength exercises. (I’m still amused that I refer to 3 miles as a short run)

I have not began my regimented marathon training yet. That starts in earnest on June 17th in order to taper the week before my marathon. But I am still trying very hard to log at least 25 miles per week.

Prepare, prepare:

I have been reading marathon training tips, tips and more tips. One important tip is to train in the gear you will be running in. I need new running shorts. I love Under Armour (who doesn’t?). It will be Oct 19 in Missouri so who knows what the weather will be. My hopes are that it will be cool like 45-55 degrees but probably won’t happen. All my good running socks have holes. I need a new sports bra. The last thing I want to do during 26.2 miles is tug at underwear and bra. I need to be breaking in new shoes. I have already determined that I like GU as my fuel and that salted caramel is damn good! The peanut butter almost choked me during the Half in April. When your throat is dry, you don’t need peanut butter…but it was tasty! HA! I also take jelly beans.

I still haven’t bought that Garmin Forerunner 220 yet. Peyton’s vet trip ate up Garmin money! 🙂 I do still like using runkeeper on my iPhone and I always take my phone when I run and the runkeeper GPS and music will run the battery down after it takes me 7 hours to finish! haha I hope I’m kidding here. 🙂

I already wear a Polar heart monitor so maybe I can just wait on the Garmin. My husband is encouraging me to get it and train with it…so maybe. He must be wanting another guitar or something for his drums. 🙂

Ok…..I’m long winded today plus Tall Poppy is fluttering around making all the decisions today so all I have to do is hang out, socialize and wait for the fallout. Oh well, there was that 45 minute painful meeting we had in his office with him informing me how he is making all these high level decisions for political (corporate) reasons. 🙂 Phew…

I spent some time last night reading running blogs and posts from runners on facebook and I started experiencing jealousy….maybe for the first time. I am proud of how far I have come since being almost 300 lb runner wannabe. I’m not a young chick by any means. My mind is young but my body reminds me on more than one occasion that I am not. I have never pretended that I am a fast or even slightly fast runner. I am sure and steady at best. “I don’t have a runner’s body but I have a runner’s heart” – to steal a quote that I saw on Pinterest.

I am starting to doubt my ability to even run a marathon. So when I see all the happy runners posting incredible fast times and complaining about not doing it faster, I doubt whether I am a runner or not. These fast people complain about not finishing a full marathon in under 2 1/2 hours and I can’t even finish a half in that time! Don’t get me wrong, If I could do that, I’d brag too! But still…..

My EARLY Christmas list is below….

Under Armour Ultra Long Women's Compression Shorts — Under Armour Ultra Long Women’s Compression Shorts

Asics Nimbus 15

~Run for Quality of Life~

Attitude Adjustment, Young Lady!

Published on April 29, 2014April 29, 2014 by Charlotte8 Comments

I got up this morning and didn’t mind going in to work at all like I feared that I would.

I think I gave myself an attitude adjustment as my parents used to call it! “You need an attitude adjustment, young lady!”

Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday was great for my mental stability…..

I feel energetic and much more adaptable to Tall Poppy’s bullshit today. And that’s the way it should be. I can’t change people, I CAN change how I deal with them. I’m high-strung or wound tight…however people want to classify it. But today, I’m docile and agreeable. Let’s hope I can maintain that!

I am becoming increasing worried about my Peyton. We can tell that he is probably in the beginning stages of hip dysplasia. His mom had it and we knew that. It’s very hereditary. We have from the start done everything to make sure Peyton (and Eli) stay healthy. We exercise them often, feed them good quality dog food and keep their body weight down…in addition to other things such as heartworm, tick and flea prevention. They see their doctor more than Kevin and I see ours!

But, yesterday I noticed that Peyton has an ugly wart like growth on his right hip while I was massaging his backside. When I touched it he got upset and he kept licking it last night. It has a dark spot on the wart which worries me. So he has a Vet appointment later this afternoon to get him checked out. As always, I fear the worst. Peyton is my baby and I treat him like my baby. So, I’m hoping for the best.

I will also tell the vet about the signs of dysplasia. I don’t think there’s anything to do about that except for to take care of his joints.

It’s cool and rainy today. It’s a great day to run (for me). But, I don’t plan any exercise since I have to rush home, get Peyton and get him to the vet by 5pm.

I might do kettlebells and squats tonight in place of running. I have a bit of shin splints on my right leg so it could probably use a rest.

It’s probably about time for new shoes. I prefer to wear Asics Nimbus but I alternate with Brooks Glycerin. Asics are great for the long runs and Brooks for my shorter ones. I try not to get attached to one kind of shoe (although I have) because sometimes they change the style and I usually like them less. The Brooks have a bigger toe box..maybe too big but Asics Nimbus are so light and airy.

Brooks Glycerin 10

~Woof~

Oops, I Did It Again!

Published on April 28, 2014April 28, 2014 by Charlotte8 Comments

I need to shake off this job stress. I knew late last night that I wouldn’t be going to work today.

I called in again and simply told him I needed to be off and was taking some vacation time. Tall Poppy makes all the decisions so I thought I’d let him without my interference. 🙂

I slept in and that felt great. I have always bragged about being a good sleeper but the last few weeks have been different. I slept decent considering we were awakened by tornado sirens going off a few times during the night. We do live in “Tornado Alley”. Kevin, the dogs and I headed to the basement a couple of times so needless to say, that wasn’t the best night’s sleep.

I’ll go in tomorrow refreshed but not happy about it! I normally shake off work stress by the time I fasten my seat-belt in the car to go home. I usually never bring my work home. But with other shifts and more people and a new supervisor in training..I’m on call all the time to help direct them. My content life and running really is my savior.

I have enjoyed my day immensely! I walked the dogs twice and then ran 6 very hard miles. I just ran where I felt like it and let my runkeeper GPS tell me how many miles. I actually thought it was going to end up as 5 miles but when I finished, it was 6.01! It’s a beautiful day and that run made me feel great, after I finished it!

I cleaned hardwood floors, mopped and got some groceries and played with Peyton and Eli in the backyard.

I was energetic so I mowed and weed-eated the yard. It looks awesome and now it’s about to rain. Yard-work gives me almost as much satisfaction as running does. I love admiring a beautiful yard that I help make that way.

Snead Home

Tornado warnings have been off and on today. Peyton and Eli won’t leave my side. They are big babies.

I wish I were rich so I never had to work and everyday was like or could be like today.

I’m now kicked back on the sofa watching “Criminal Minds.” That’s my veg out TV. I guess that might say something about my mind? 🙂

~Don’t Stress It~

Gone Fishin’

Published on April 27, 2014April 27, 2014 by Charlotte4 Comments

We kept Sadie last night while her daddy worked, mother studied and her brother was at a play date. She is never still! We took a stroll in Forest Park and it started raining. Luckily, we were not too far from home.

We met up with the kids + Daniel and ate dinner at Llwelyn’s in CWE. Daniel fell a sleep in my lap at the restaurant. 🙂 He spent the night and we woke up early, had breakfast and set off with Popeye (Kevin), Peyton and Eli and me (I’m Momeye) to explore Forest Park.

Popeye and I bought Daniel his first rod and reel and tackle. We went to a bait shop for fishing license and live bait! (Crickets).

He told me a few weeks ago he wanted to go fishing and had never gone. His mommy had to do her 12 hour clinical at the hospital. We met up with his daddy and Sadie at Jefferson Lake in Forest Park and Popeye taught him how to bait a hook and cast a line. Daniel was pretty good except for the putting live crickets on a hook. I did that for him.

Daniel

He didn’t like putting the cute little crickets on the hook so we eventually let them go run free and he used a pink, wiggly lure to put on his reel. Of course we didn’t even get a bite but that wasn’t even the point of fishing with a 6 year old, was it? He even said that it was more fun than Pokemon! Daniel did strike up a friendship with a man who had caught a pretty big catfish.

We had picnic and a wonderful time watching Daniel casting his line. At one point he said it was kinda boring. I explained that fishing was “thinking time” and he said he was going to think about girls! 🙂

I saw so many people running today in the park and I got that runner’s jealousy when we are not running but see others running. I didn’t run today and didn’t eat very well. I’m tired and happy as a clam.

The Blues lost..I didn’t watch the game. I just couldn’t. It’s just as well, I couldn’t stand anymore heartbreak! Now, on to my St. Louis Cardinals.

It was a great weekend….now back to Hell! HA!

~Go Fish~

I’ve Run Everywhere, Man…..

Published on April 26, 2014April 26, 2014 by Charlotte7 Comments

Ok, not quite but many awesome places….

My St. Louis Blues lost last night 😦

I haven’t given up hope. But it’s not a good situation. It doesn’t matter….I love St. Louis Blues hockey.

I’m watching Angels v Yankees and it reminds me that I am very pissed at Albert Pujols. He was a God in St. Louis, what amount of money could beat that? We refered to him as “King Albert.” Anyway….bastard!

Kevin and I had a 7 mile run around the perimeter of Forest Park. It was as beautiful as a run that I’ve ever had except maybe across the “Golden Gate Bridge” in San Francisco or the beaches of Carmel and Santa Cruz (both are spectacular) but it was awesome.

Me on the Beach in Carmel, CA. That's Pebble Beach in the background — Me on the Beach in Carmel, CA. That’s Pebble Beach in the background

I was still a pretty big girl back in Aug 2010 but I ran over the Golden Gate Bridge and back - 3 miles round trip. — I was still a pretty big girl back in Aug 2010 but I ran over the Golden Gate Bridge and back – 3 miles round trip.

We did well on our morning run in Forest Park but the hills are very challenging especially on the Skinker side. I had a decent pace. I was due for 8 miles but I since I ran with Kevin, I had to cut it short. 😦 He holds me back a bit but I like running with him

It’s a beautiful day here in the Lou!

We went to Soulard Market for some fruit and no better place to get good for cheap. I bought Clementines and had a couple bud light!

We had lunch at Llywelyn’s in Soulard and I had my usual “Buffalo Chicken Wrap.” I burned ~1100 calories on my run so I felt that I could. That is such an awesome plus to running.

I’ll be a good girl the rest of the day and my calories are still in check.

I weighed yesterday and I’m about 2 lbs under my goal weight. I couldn’t quit smiling from that. Really though, I need to take a few more off before the marathon Rock ‘n Roll – St. Louis for October. I suspect the training will take that weight off.

We may meet up with my son after he gets off work to have a beer at Ballpark Village. I haven’t had a chance to spend time with him in a while. Sometimes our relationship is not as close as I wish. 😦

Maybe Daniel will spend the night? We plan on taking Daniel fishing tomorrow. He’s almost 7 and has never been as he reminded me last weekend! 🙂

I’m tired and happy….

Then back home to Columbia tomorrow afternoon. Go Blues!

Forest Park – STL 7 mile

~Run Dammit~

Mental Health Day

Published on April 25, 2014April 25, 2014 by Charlotte12 Comments

I got up this morning when my alarm went off and sent a text to Tall Poppy telling him I didn’t feel well and wasn’t coming in.

As soon as I laid back down to go back to sleep. I suddenly felt awesome. I haven’t called in sick in over a year or more. I usually schedule my time and take it. Work has been stressful lately because we are adding shifts, people, can’t service all the orders that we get, 12 hour days and because someone is a dick, it’s made more difficult. I’ve toyed with calling in for weeks. Today was that awesome day.

It’s 80 degrees here and as beautiful a day as I’ve ever seen. I slept to 7 am. Ate a healthy breakfast with strong “Charlotte” coffee as it’s referred to. I kissed my honey goodbye as he sadly left for work, I walked my dogs, ran a 4 mile run under 40 minutes, came home and took a shower, got a glass of strawberry moscato with gorgonzola cheese and sat out in my beautiful backyard with my pups and watching the baby chickadees who built a nest in the bird house that Daniel got me a few Mother’s Days ago. Phew….that was a mouth full. 🙂

Yeah, I’m sick! I’m sick I cant do this everyday!

I have walked the dogs twice today because the neighborhood is so beautiful. I told you in my last post that I never want to miss a thing. I am a Go! person.

I have rarely thought of work today, I haven’t answered any calls, emails or texts in regard to work and good for me! HA!

I have a small bag packed for our trip to our apartment in St. Louis. I’m practically praying that the St. Louis Blues win tonight. My hope is that when we get into the city that the Blues will be winning. I’m dressed in Blues gear from head to toe. If they are winning..or maybe if they are not, I’ll go to Tom’s Bar and Grill with all the other Blues crazies and cheer them on. It’s tied 2-2 with Chicago Blackhawks. There’s never been a nastier team or fan base except for Rob at weight2lose2013. 🙂

Just for full disclosure, Barret Jackman of the St. Louis Blues is my neighbor in St. Louis! (name dropping) 🙂

I’m outside right now watching the birds at the feeder drinking a Schlafy Pumpkin Ale that I save up. They only make them in the fall and I usually buy a crap load for just when I want one. They are delicious but 280 calories!

I finally watched the ending of Meb Keflezighi winning the Boston Marathon. I cried with him 🙂 When the 4th wave started (people kinda like me), I was so envious and proud. I’d love to be able to do that. It’s not in the cards for me but I can dream. Maybe I can get in on a charity? I’d probably pay $$$ for that chance.

It’s about time to feed the doggies, finish some housework and off to the city I love, St. Louis, Missouri.

I have a 8 mile run in the morning at Forest Park. It should be awesome!

~I Bleed Blue~

Fat vs Thin

Published on April 24, 2014April 24, 2014 by Charlotte15 Comments

I know the word “fat” is a derogatory word to many. But “fat” best describes how I felt. I’m not making a judgement on others.

I have been overweight most of my life with periods of time where I had lost the weight back in my teen years. Being an overweight girl has to be the one of the worst experiences particularly for teenage girls and especially for a teen-aged girl who adored boys at an early age like I did.

At those times when I got to my goal weight, it was always because I counted calories and exercised. I remember taking up running when I was about 16 years old. I loved it. I thought I was special. Growing up in a rural area, most people did not exercise other than their physical work such as yard work, farming, basketball, baseball etc.

I was a tom-boy all my life. I still am. I played baseball, basketball and football with my brothers and male cousins.

I always dreamed of doing outdoor things such as skiing, traveling, hunting, hiking, running, climbing trees and mountains. But I was overweight and feared being made fun of so I did not dare try most of those things. Also, as an overweight girl, I just wasn’t physically able.

I was a thin girl in a fat girl’s body.

I’ve always been active even as an overweight woman but it wasn’t easy. I’m a busy person. I don’t like downtime. I want to see and experience everything that I can even if I was worn out. My mother told Kevin when she first met him that he would have a hard time keeping up with me because I was go, go, go! That has stuck with Kevin and he knows it to be true.

I have never let my weight stop me from hiking, traveling or exploring. I am GO! GO! GO! But it has never been easy. Being fat, my clothes were never pretty, I was uncomfortable, sweaty and keenly aware that I was unattractive.

One thing stands out in my mind is when Kevin and I went to the Grand Canyon. With the high elevations, I could hardly walk without having to rest. What a disappointment to be at one of the most beautiful places in the world and not be able to explore it the way I wanted to.

The same with the “Red Rock Canyons” in Sedona, AZ. A beautiful piece of “out of this world” beauty. I did climb “Bell Rock” with Kevin but I was so sad that I couldn’t enjoy it from being so out of breath.

Bell Rock - Sedona Arizona — Bell Rock – Sedona Arizona

Flash forward to now. I’m at my goal weight. I am still go, go, go! I feel great. I have almost never-ending energy. I look good in my pretty and stylish clothes. I have moments where I look so small that I don’t recognize myself. When I sit in airplane seats or cross my legs, I feel small and fit. I don’t mind standing in the line at a grocery store with only Cadbury eggs in my hand to pay. I used to sneak and do that or have Kevin do it. I knew people would look at me and think “yeah, a fat girl buying candy, figures” 🙂

But most of the time, that is not what I see when I look in the mirror. The mirror can be your cruel friend.

I am a fat girl in a thin girl’s body.

I don’t see what others see most of the time. Sometimes I still automatically look for where the bigger women clothes are in Macy’s. I often refer to myself as fat to my co-workers without even thinking. They usually correct me and remind me that I am not fat. I still wonder if people look at me and automatically know I used to be fat. When I’m running, I used to be paranoid that people will be laughing at that big girl running….that still enters my mind many times.

On the other hand, I am happy that I lost weight when I did. I want to experience everything that a normal sized person experiences. I love being smaller.

For any women (or man) who says they are happy even when they are obese, I don’t believe it.

I’m not saying body size is everything. What I am saying that being smaller and healthier allows you to enjoy life better, enjoy your children better, explore better, enjoy sex better, enjoy being around people better…..

I have this on another of my blog pages but bears repeating 🙂 I could probably add to this list at least once a day….

Fat v. Thin

~ Can cross my legs (my all time favorite)
~ Fit in Airplane seats more comfortably (what a difference!)
~ Fit in any booth in any restaurant
~ Can shop anywhere not just fat woman sections
~ Can stand in line and buy candy without worrying what people think of me
~ I can (almost) keep up with my 6 year old grandson
~ I am more outgoing
~ People look me in the eye (fat women know what I mean about this)
~ I fit comfortably in my small car
~ I love having my picture made (I’m a ham!)
~ My self confidence is through the roof
~ I look small in my big bed (says my husband)
~ I can sit on the floor crossed leg like a kid
~ I LOVE jeans!
~ I can tie my shoes
~ I can exercise (especially run)
~ My resting heart rate is 58
~ My feet are smaller and not puffy (still ugly, though)
~ I feel attractive and notice men looking at me
~ My husband can wrap his arms around me
~ I really enjoy the taste of food, not the amount
~ Not dreading getting dressed in the morning and hiding my muffin top
~ Wearing all the pretty shirts and fitting women’s shirts
~ Sex is better (still not frequent!!) 🙂

My biggest regret is waiting so long to get leaner and healthier. I pray for many years to enjoy my new self.

~Get Fit~

Olympians and Awards

Published on April 23, 2014April 23, 2014 by Charlotte12 Comments

I had a day full of normal stress. I snatched a piece of pizza that we brought in today to feed auditors for lunch and ate in on my 40 mile drive to my home.

I fed and played with my happy dogs. I got my share of doggie kisses and presents. My dogs bring me presents when I get home. Sometimes it’s a dirty sock, sometimes a kong or squeeky toy.

I went on a 3.1 mile run and not a bad time <33 minutes and had to stop at a couple red lights.

I’m showered and my JLO (HA!) butt on the couch waiting for the Blues to beat the Blackhawks (fingers crossed)…..why? Because it’s the Cup!

I do get great satisfaction that people would take the time to read my blog.

I’m especially flattered to get them and still not sure what to do with them. I’d like to thank to RunBeckyRun for the Liebster Award!

There are others who have nominated me and I didn’t recognize them because I didn’t know what to do! I’m a WordPress Newbie!

Here are the 10 questions that Becky wants answered:

1. What is your favorite “cheat” food? Cadbury eggs and Apple Fritters

2. What is one little-known fact about you? tattoos are sexy to me including my own

3. Do you own any pets? If so, what? 2 awesome Chocolate Labs: Peyton and Eli

4. If you could run anywhere in the world, where would it be? Ireland and Big Sur

5. What’s your next race? “Race for the Cure” on the team (St. Louis Blues) June 14

6. How did you get interested in running? When I was fat I was envious of runners

7. What’s your favorite time of day to run? Early morning but I don’t do it often

enough Why? I’m more energetic and cooler temps.

8. Do you run with someone or a pet? Yes, my husband Kevin and sometimes Peyton and Eli

9. If you could meet any famous runner, who would it be? Jackie Joyner Kersee (And I did meet her before my race, talked to her and got a hug from her when she put the medal around my neck)

Jackie Joyner Kersee and Me :-) — Jackie Joyner Kersee and Me 🙂

10. What song do you listen to most frequently while running? “American Girl” – Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers

I know I’m supposed to nominate others and let them know but I see people getting so many awards and I only follow a few blogs that I keep up with regularly. I nominate all those people!

For others who have nominated me such as Weight2lose2013, Trucker Turning Write, Lisa Macy Coaching and others, thanks! I am happy that you guys read my blog.

~Let’s Go Blues~

Love, Rain O’er Me

Published on April 22, 2014April 24, 2014 by Charlotte15 Comments

Running 3.1 miles in a downpour just seems more hardcore

“Love, Reign O’er Me” – The Who

Only love can make it rain
The way the beach is kissed by the sea
Only love can make it rain
Like the sweat of lovers layin’ in the fields

Love, reign o’er me
Love, reign o’er me
Rain on me, rain on me

I believe today will be rest day for me. I feel good mentally but my body is exhausted. I’m now logging 20-25 miles per week since the half marathon on Apr 6.

I do not start my serious marathon training schedule until June…..so today, I’m taking a day off. I’ll still do my squats tonight but I think that’s it!

I have been known to say this and change my mind when I get home but I don’t feel that happening today.

As you know, I love running in the rain. It started when I first started running and the rain cooled my body off and made my run more enjoyable. I was pretty big at the time so I needed some help.

Aug 2012, Kevin and I completed a night run in downtown St. Louis and the downpour was so bad that we said fuck it and went back to the car with the intention to drive to our apartment for dry clothes then someone to eat. At that point, we were already soaking wet by standing at the race waiting for it to start. We saw throngs of people still lining up to do that race.

Kevin's goofy face which is why he never wants on facebook! lol — Kevin’s goofy face which is why he never wants on facebook! lol

So because we were already soaking wet…..I said “Kevin, let’s do this”. We got out of our car in a torrential downpour and ran that night race. It was great! I had a 5k PR! After you get wet and shoes are soaked, you might as well go enjoy it. We still talk about that race. I bet over a 1,000 people still ran that race. “Torchlight Run” Aug 2012.

I am so glad we got out of that car.

Yesterday, I wanted to run and it was sprinkling rain so I said to myself “Awesome, I’ll Do This” 🙂

Well, it was sprinkling when I started but after .5 miles, the bottom let out of the sky and it poured down. I know passer-bys thought I was a fool for running in that rain with a smile on my face.

It rained so hard that it was hard to see and I forgot to wear my visor.

My shoes were sopping wet from running through waterholes on the sidewalk along with everything else. I loved it!

Yesterday, I did 3.1 miles for Boston in the rain. 🙂

~Run in the Rain~

We are Family

Published on April 21, 2014April 21, 2014 by Charlotte7 Comments

And you messed with my family…………..

I am so happy and satisfied that I have found an outlet to talk about my love for running. I also found a Facebook page “RunJunkEes” that I get my runner talk fix along with advice and suggestions.

I’ve said on my posts a few times that I don’t have anyone to talk running to except for my husband who is not as enthused about it as I am. When I try at work I get a feeling that people think various things such as: so what, she’s bragging, why would someone run, waste of time…and those are probably the nice things.

Today is a poignant day for me which I can’t share with anyone except with words on here.

Last year on April 7, 2013, I had just completed my first half marathon. So when the awful terrorist attack on runners in the Boston Marathon happened a little over a week after, it hit me hard. Of course all things like that make me emotional, upset and pissed but this affected me in a way that was foreign to me. I had such a sense of sadness then anger that I couldn’t express to people. I went home and ran that night with tears in my eyes.

And I wondered if I related to the runners in some weird way. Yes, I’m a runner but I’m NOT a “Boston Marathon” runner so why did I feel so devastated by this particular attack? In some way, I think all runners relate. We feel like kin when we talk about running together.

I wonder if football players or hockey players feel like that…do they feel they are all family?

I can of course talk to my husband who runs with me. He also ran the half marathon last year and he too was devastated by the attack on marathoners and all the people who love marathoners. We discussed our feelings and we both felt the same that it was an attack on our family. Weird, huh?

I remember the sheer pain and joy that I felt simultaneously when I crossed the finish line after only 13.1 miles. So it hit me that at the very moment those runners were feeling the same thing (joy, pain & euphoria) evil bastards wanted to hurt them and the people who loved them and cheered for them. That pissed me off! At a moment when they were proud, happy, tired, pained, thirsty, euphoric….an awful tragedy happened. I put my self in their mind if that had happened to me at the end of my 13.1 mile run. I still cry thinking about it.

Yes, you may think it’s silly….but they attacked, hurt and killed members of my family. I did not know a single person in that marathon….but I felt for them like I loved them.

So today, it’s weird but I read every update, look at pictures and reports coming from the Boston Marathon…and I feel like I know these people. I’m jealous of them and at the same time cheering for them…like you do with family. I will never make it to Boston Marathon as a runner…that’s not in the cards for me. But members of my family will make it and run and finish.

I recorded it today so I can watch some of it…I want to see their faces, their hugs, their sweat, their smiles…..they are my brothers and sisters.

I wore my Boston colors today and will give them 3.1 miles tonight, likely with tears in my eyes.

I “sports hate” the Bruins, Red Sox and Patriots….but I love Bostoners for coming out today and cheering my family on when I couldn’t be there with them.

~Hat Tip to Boston~