I’m feeling very guilty today and disappointed with myself. After a good, healthy day yesterday, I hit the bottom today!
One of our suppliers brought in donuts, fritters, cruellers, long johns, cinnamon rolls…you name it! I cursed them a bit and quietly grabbed an apple fritter…my all time favorite. Estimated at 450 calories.
So basically after my lunch that I brought, I have eaten my entire days calories and I haven’t eaten dinner yet. Normally, I wouldn’t mind so much but I did not plan to do any cardio today at all and today is even a rest day for squats.
Now I must decide to skip dinner or burn some calories. My first inclination is to go home and put on pajamas and sit on the couch. I am tired and I know it is from the fritter. But it was so good and I almost went for the 2nd one but gained my senses. Those type of behaviors is what blowed me up to 288 lbs. I could feel the old Charlotte trying to take over again.
For the most part, I do think I am very different from the over eater that I used to be. I count calories every single day no matter how bad or high the count gets. I never eat something without thinking of the calories or if it gives me some nutritional benefit. I don’t always do the right thing but I am always conscious of what I eat and what I do to burn the calories off.
I think I’ll do a kettlebell routine on my patio today since it is a nice day. That gives me cardio plus squats!
I know that I obsess more than I should sometimes and maybe people who say that are right. I still have an overwhelming fear of getting fat again. I know I am not that same person but it would be so easy sometimes to say “to hell with it” and eat what I want as much as I want. I know that I am a strong person….
But today, an apple fritter “brung” me down. Yeah, I meant brung…I do think that should be a word. 🙂