Today I experienced a feeling that I rarely experience. I think I was having anxiety..I think. At work I was emotional, talky (manic), sad one minute, hyper another. I really almost came home but then I wondered what I would do at home! My brother’s health, my son’s health, marathon training….it almost all crashed in today.
My family, friends and people who know me think I am the strong one (“clutch” as we refer to in our house)….and I do appear to be that but sometimes when no one is around, I fall apart. Peyton and Eli usually know it. Sorry you guys are having to take the brunt of it! 🙂 I can only tell you guys so don’t spread the word around.
I am waiting on word that the doctors at Vanderbilt in Nashville will allow my brother to go on a liver transplant list. His time is very limited and I feel helpless. I’m mad at the world and sad. I kept waiting for my phone to ring but it never did. I finally called him this afternoon but I was even dreading doing that because when I talked to him last night, he was in pain. He has both cirrhosis and liver cancer. His doctor didn’t get a chance to give him a call today and he should find out something tomorrow. I am not very hopeful about this at all.
In addition, my son is having health problems and I fear for that. He is doing the right things now..dieting, stopping smoking, exercising but I am a bundle of nerves. He is having an ultrasound on Thursday. He can be treated but the meds are very expensive even with insurance. Just when things start going right for them financially with Allison getting a good nursing job, this happens to take up any extra money. Of course Kevin and I will help but still.
I am so sorry to be spitting out so much gloom and sadness today but it’s what’s going on in my life. One minute, my life is awesome, healthy and happy and in a blink of an eye, things can turn around.
Running is both a pain in my ass and my mental savior. I’ve done a lot of crying and running lately.
And, Daniel is coming to spend a week with Momeye (me) and Popeye (Kevin). He gave us those names when he started talking because he couldn’t say “grandpa” and it sounded like Popeye. Then naturally, I became Momeye. Daniel actually spells it MyMy and PyPy. 🙂
The Rock ‘n Roll Marathon St. Louis released a picture of the Marathon medal today and I love it!
I want this training to be over! It must be true what people say that the marathon is the easy part, it’s the marathon training that makes you or breaks you.
I heard a quote on “Mike & Mike” (ESPN) of all things that has stuck with me all day….
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out” John Wooden
Now, back to one of my favorite movies….Kill Bill: Vol 2
~My Pussy Wagon Died On Me~