Blood, Sweat, Tears and 16 Miles

There was blood, sweat…and yes, tears. There was profanity, anger and humiliation. Did I mention tears? It wasn’t at all pretty but it was 16 miles people!!!!

I woke up Saturday morning with a type of dread or fear that I haven’t experienced yet in my training or running experience.

There was no excitement or love of running in my head like other runs. Even when I gripe and feel nervous or doubtful, I’m usually get a bit giddy about the challenge and can question whether I can do it…until yesterday.

My hip was still hurting a bit with each step. It wasn’t terrible but I knew it would get worse during that run. This was the first run that I have ever had that I felt I would not complete.

While Kevin was loading up his bike for our trip on MKT, I was crying. He hugged me and told me to do what I felt like and if it didn’t work out, we’d try it again on Sunday.

I cried and asked aloud “why am I doing this to myself? I don’t enjoy running any more? I’m too old to do this, why can’t I just be happy that I run and am healthy?”

He hugged me and said “because you will regret quitting after 12 weeks of training. Can you live with that?”

something to remember each run

No….I knew I couldn’t.

Time to stop crying and get at it.

When I started my Garmin, I was in a different frame of mind. I was still scared and dreaded it but I was ready to begin.

My hip hurt some with every step until about mile 6 and it seemed to stop. Of course pain started in other areas!

During my first 8 miles, I was enjoying it pretty much except for the slight hip pain but my energy and mindset was good. I even wondered if I could run more than 16 that day. I think runners to that a lot in the early parts of a long run. 🙂

But then the feet problems came. The toe box in these shoes do not suit my bad feet. My right foot has a couple of hammer toes that slightly arch up. I need shoes that keep them still and straight. Bigger toe box shoes do not do that and the toes arch up higher and the tips of the toes strike the ground. That’s very painful after a few miles. I put on my gel toe cap and with the sweating, they came off and were loose in the shoes. That hurt also.

I bought new running socks on Friday which are thicker and help with blisters but it could not fix the toe issue.

I’ve spent over $50 in the last couple of weeks on 3 pair of socks.

I am doubting my choice of shoes because I had to stop and sit on the trail about 3 times during that 16 mile run to fix my toes/socks…etc. (remember that toe injury a few weeks ago on a 10 mile run?)

My next long run with be in different shoes. Those beautiful $160 Brooks Glycerin 12s are going on Ebay. It will be back to Asics Nimbus….my true love.

I think everyone should train for a marathon…maybe not run one but train for one! 🙂

It has pushed me to the  limits and taught me a lot of myself. Some of the things that I have learned about myself are not good.

 One that I’m not proud of is that I can be mean:

– I was mad at Kevin for reasons that made no sense. Well, he did let me run out of water at mile 8 and no fountains in sight for 4 miles! I yelled at him when he was trying to take a picture of me.

– I call people names (in my  head or under my breath) along the trail (people strolling, pushing babies in strollers, people with dogs on LONG leashes, people who don’t yield to runners, people who take up the entire trail, people who don’t clean up poop after their dog dumps)

– I bumped someone on purpose because they wouldn’t move over. They were walking in the middle of the trail.

– I called myself the ugliest names I could think of. If someone else called me those type names, I’d be crushed.

Is this common? I wasn’t happy with myself. I gave Kevin big, sincere apologies after I finished and he said he expected it! I’m not sure why he expected it but he shouldn’t.

I didn’t have that much euphoria after I finished those 16 miles like I thought I would. The only thing I could think of was how in the hell can I get 10 more miles. And how can I????

I ate 4 packets of GU for fuel during the run. My new favorite might be Espresso Love. It has a boost of caffeine and tastes like espresso.

After I got home, I hobbled downstairs and took a cool shower and put on comfy clothes.

Most long distance runners know that after a long run, one of the worst things to do is lay down and that it’s important to keep moving but what you most want to do it lay down. You should stay as busy as possible to help with the delayed onset soreness. So I walked around, put some laundry in and soon crawled in the bed and watch Mizzou Tigers football.

I had a dehyrdation headache which took a while to get rid of. My legs hurt so it was hard to get comfortable but soon I did and that felt great.

Finally, a slight euphoria set in. I started researching things to do to help my feet/toes and push forward for that 10 more miles. I spend the rest of the night commiserating with other runners on blogs and facebook that was and had experienced all the things that I did.

That made me feel better and I soon came to terms that somehow, someway….I will put a 26.2 sticker on my car at the end of the day on Oct 19.

After long runs, I find out that I am not hungry right away and yesterday I was quite a bit nauseous. But later….I did exactly the wrong thing and ate at a Chinese Buffet. I know better but that is our old fall back place to eat when we are starving. And, it’s at the end of the street.

I ate too much but still well within my calorie allowances because I burned about 2200 calories on that 16 mile run.

I was in bed by 8:30pm but reading running blogs…of course but probably fell asleep at 10:30pm or so. I slept well and slept in until 7am which made me really happy.

My puppies woke us up with sloppy kisses and the day began right. I was fairly sore on my right hip and it is a bit worse than the day of the run. I think I’ll recover over the next couple of days.

Eli, the baby
Eli, the baby

I walked the dogs with Kevin and that was not easy. I knew I had to walk to get the soreness out.

I’m just glad that I have a couple more days off work.

~It’s Mental…right?~


11 thoughts on “Blood, Sweat, Tears and 16 Miles

  1. These are the gauntlets to success, Charlotte. The gnashing of teeth, the hurt, the tears, the pushing yourself to the brink – the stuff of champions. Just remember one thing – this is for you. Keep on rockin’ it!!!

    1. I hope you are right but it’s hard to imagine 26.2 miles. It may be true that the training will make or break you…not the marathon itself. Thanks for your comments and support. 🙂

      1. I’ve heard that especially with regard to marathons ( I haven’t run one yet, so I am still intimidated by the half marathon distance!). Try searching blogs or reading books by the top ultrarunners of the world; they have good techniques/ideas for how to mentally tackle seemingly insurmountable distances. Plus, they’re super-human so it’s just fun reading 🙂

    1. Thank you and I will be one of your biggest supporters. You are so strong. I read what you have done and even though I had a similar journey, you seem tougher than me. I remember like yesterday that first mile I tried to run. Thanks for your comment and support.

      1. I do see the similarities in our journeys. That is why I love to read yours. You’re further than me so I love to read where I can be. And thanks for sharing that but I’m not stronger. I believe the hardest part is after reaching the goal of losing is keeping it off.

  2. Awwww, GREAT JOB!!! You rock!! Way to push through!! You’re so strong and your power is amazing!! I’m so proud of you!! Running is NOT easy, so I definitely agree that it evokes powerful emotions inside us all!! YOU ROCK!!

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