Running with Butterflies

After my 12.8 mile long run on Saturday, I have felt really good and a bit more confident about my chances of completing a full marathon….until this morning.

I have the worst case of butterflies and my marathon is not for about 40 more days. My stomach is in knots and I have had bouts of crying from I don’t know what the hell for?

Maybe because the coming weeks are going to be the hardest. How can I get 9 and 10 mile runs in on Wednesday after working all day….

I read the post this morning from one of my favorite blogs from Sarah at “Running on Healthy” where she puts out sensible reasons to trust your training. Yesterday I did….today not so much. I’m nervous to the point of an upset stomach.

Also, it’s still the unknown about my brother. We are supposed to meet him soon in Nashville in preparation for him being put on the liver transplant list…..which I fear is a long shot for him. So that’s an unknown. His health is deteriorating. I feel selfish that I worry how that will work with my training and even possibly for the marathon itself. If I have to drive or fly to Nashville, how will that affect everything. So yes…..I feel very selfish when he is suffering so much.

Today is rest day for me and I plan on resting tonight. I might do some boxing. I mowed the lawn last night after we got in from St. Louis so I could have this day free! The weather is beautiful here right now and I see that the temperatures are very cool for this coming weekend. That does help alleviate some of my long run anxieties because I do perform better in cooler weather. My fear is the morning of Oct 19, we will have Indian Summer!!!

I have not yet decided where I will run my 18 miles Saturday. I want to do it in St. Louis because I can run parts of the marathon route and city running distracts me better. Kevin wants to stay in Columbia this weekend and that only leaves the MKT trail to run on. I love bicycling on that trail but I will admit I do not like running it. There are only trees and bluffs to look at with rabbits, deer and snakes! The trees block cross winds so it’s stale for the most part.

If I decide to go to St. Louis, Kevin may stay in Columbia and it makes me nervous to run 18 miles early morning in St. Louis without a wingman on his bike.

He knows I hate running that trail so I’m a tad pissed at him. He knows these week in September are critical and vital. October is the beginning of tapering so it won’t be a hard running schedule.

Anyway, my stomach is in knots….

I had a nice weekend with my Daniel and Sadie. Daniel spend the night Saturday so Sunday morning after breakfast, we went for our usual walk in Forest Park. We went to our secret hideout with the magic tree. He climbed on that a while. We watched turtles and frogs. He skipped rocks. He danced in the street where a band was warming up for “LouFest” in Forest Park. He told me secrets, plans, and his latest crushes on girls.

Later, I went to get Sadie so Allison could get a nap after working overnight 12s and James was working.

I watched the KC Chiefs try to play football…big disappointment. I took the kids home and we drove to Columbia where I then mowed the yard, showered and watched Peyton Manning and the Broncos.

All in all…..a nice weekend.

“Pain is temporary.  It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place.  If I quit, however, it lasts forever. – Lance Armstrong 



16 thoughts on “Running with Butterflies

    1. The hip pain is almost noticeable. In fact, I don’t notice it running but trying to sleep. But much better. Thanks for your encouragement. I love reading your blog. I’m still envious of running 20 and have a nice night out afterwards. Mine is spend on the sofa with cold packs on my knees. lol

  1. It’s a big event, Charlotte, so I think that it’s natural to get a case of the butterflies. You’re doing the wise thing to have contingency plans in the event of an unexpected trip. That’s not selfish at all. BTW, sorry about the Chiefs. There’s still time to jump on the Chargers bandwagon. 🙂

    1. How in the world did you become a Chargers fan? lol I would have thought you a big Patriots guy. They blew it yesterday too, btw. lol Thanks for the support and encouragement, Rob. 🙂

  2. Yaaay for you and your running!!! Feeling nervous is just you knowing how hard you’ve worked and wanting it to all pay off race day, but trust me, it will. You’re going to have an amazing race!! It’s so important to trust your training!! I do agree!! It’s also important to trust yourself and trust all of the hard work you’ve put in. Realize that you’re put in the necessary work and you’re going to have a fabulous race!! Have an amazing week!! XOXO!!

      1. Charlotte, THANK YOU!!! SO KIND!!! Haha, I totally get what you’re saying about trusting your training, just not yourself!! I can relate Charlotte, I really can!! XOXO!!

  3. It’s super hard to trust ourselves and our training. My 4th marathon is on Saturday and, even though I know I’ve done it before, I still have that nervous, anxious energy. Just relax. Find a reason to move forward. You’ll make it.

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