Sometimes I feel like I am wasting precious time with running more specifically training for the marathon.
I’m 54 years old….I’m on the “decline” of life….(runner’s reference).
I love autumn weather…it’s my time of the year. I love everything about it: cool temps, football, camping, smell of wood burning, leaves turning, hoodies…..
I especially love Saturdays in autumn. Saturday was an incredibly beautiful day. I spent almost 3 1/2 hours running and rest of the day trying to recover from it.
Sunday I slept in a bit as much as I ever do with 2 dogs knocking at the bedroom door. I wasn’t as sore as I thought I’d be. Kevin and I walked the dogs, got groceries, went to a neighbors open house and had a couple of beer and enjoyed socializing a bit. I watched some football and read some running blogs.
And before I knew it, the weekend was over and now I’m at work.
Life is so short.
I can’t quit thinking about my brother whose life is being cut short…..very short. I will be getting a call in a few days to arrange our visit with him and his doctor at Vanderbilt in Nashville. Our hopes and prayers are that he will be placed on a transplant list. But that is a long shot and his only chance at living.
I missed Daniel and Sadie this weekend. I missed Allison’s birthday on Saturday. I miss my son.
I’m melancholy today and can’t shake it at this moment….but I will.
I wish the training and the marathon was over so I can get back to very important things…and back to things I love.
I don’t like running long distances and long hours. There….I said it.
Running is like an abusive lover to me. And in light of all the things going on re: NFL players abusing women..children….I’m not making light of that.
It hurts my body, it takes away my joy…..and yet I can’t leave it. Again, I am by no means making light of people who are abused in a real physical sense. I know women who this has happened to. I get angry that someone would hit someone they are supposed to love, cherish and protect.
I know I asked for this. This was my decision. I know when (if) I finish my 26.2 on Oct 19, I’ll feel a sense of pride and accomplishment that I have never known before. I’m not going through this for vanity or pride….I’ve given that a lot of thought.
I’m doing this because I had to. I can’t explain or rationalize it.
“If you want to run a mile, then run a mile. If you want to experience another life, run a marathon.” – Emil Zatopek