In My Little Town…..

I got back into St. Louis late this afternoon from my trip to Nashville, TN to be with my brother at Vanderbilt Hospital. My baby sister came up too. It was good to see them even under the circumstances.

This has been an emotional few days for me and when I got home after that long drive, I had a migraine…I think. I’ve never had one but this pounding in my head was excruciating so I feel sorry for people who have these regularly. I hope this is my only one.

I took one of my left over pain pills from my plastic surgery last year and it pretty much knocked it out and I was able to eat and rest.

It was probably the stress, long driving and emotions. I did a lot of crying on my 5 hour drive back today….plus bad eating.

I drove through 4 states twice (Missouri, Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee) and 4 major rivers twice (Mississippi, Tennessee, Ohio, Cumberland).

I did manage to get in an early morning run on Tuesday through the streets of downtown Nashville. I had forgotten how beautiful Nashville is and I a little bit homesick for Tennessee.

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It was dark when I started running and the city was still very busy. My hotel was near the Capitol so I passed it on my run.

Tennessee's Capital Nashville
Tennessee’s Capital Nashville from my morning run

I ran by the capitol building, LP Field (home of the Titans football team), Johnny Cash museum, Honky Tonk Row or called SoBro by locals. I ran by the Music City where they held the ACC awards on Monday night. It was an awesome but very hilly run.

My sister stayed with me in my hotel one night and we did have a great time visiting music venues and shopping. We didn’t do much drinking but had a couple of beer and spent a shitload of money and listened to some very good live country music.

If you can’t find cowboy boots in Nashville, you wasn’t really wanting boots!

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But I also miss Kevin and my furry babies. I still won’t see them until Friday night or Saturday.

I have my 12 month follow up with my plastic surgeon on Friday.

To sum up my brother’s visit, the liver transplant team gave him 6 months to do a list of things in order to qualify to even be put on the transplant list and Jimmy didn’t do any of it. So 2 months squandered. We got to meet with all his doctors and sit in on his visits. The transplant doctor was very straight forward about Jimmy’s chances due to the fact he has made no effort to get on that list. I’m disheartened but it’s his choice. I feel even less hopeful that he will even make an attempt than I did before I went there.

It’s out of my hands. I was happy to see him and he looks so very sick. My heart broke when I first saw him Tuesday morning. He has always been such a healthy, good looking man and he is younger than me.

I hope he doesn’t read this blog and I’m sure he won’t but I left him today truly feeling that would be the last time I see him alive. 😦

I’m pretty sad writing this and have been crying most all day. That might have lead to that migraine also….in addition to junky eating and 5 hours driving.

I am ready to get back into my routine of running and better eating. I will try to get a run in the morning. It’s supposed to start snowing tonight so that might be a challenge…and fun.

One of my aunt in laws died in Tennessee last night.

And a song came on the radio on my trip back that sums up how I felt. And of course that song made me cry too! 🙂

“Leaving nothing but the dead and dying back in my little town” ~My Little Town by Simon and Garfunkel

 

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10 thoughts on “In My Little Town…..

  1. You’re an amazingly strong and beautiful woman!! I want you to know that I am and have been thinking about you and your family!! I’m so sorry you are going through a tough time now. It makes me sad that you’re sad and crying. So much love sent your way!! Hugs and kisses!!! XOXO

  2. Aw, Charlotte, I’m so sorry your brother has decided not to pursue the transplant 😦 How sad. I think you are such a strong woman to focus on getting your life back to normal and letting it go. I wish you a ton of love and peace for the future as you deal with this sad situation. (((hugs)))

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