Willow or an Oak?

I haven’t updated in a while so I’ll give a little update.

15 months later, still no final divorce. I won’t go into details. I don’t want to waste energy thinking or talking about it. I’m just ready for it to be over. Maybe Septemberish? I was told by my second lawyer. Dumped my first one. In our court appearance, his lawyer looked and acted like F. Lee Bailey, mine looked and acted like Pee Wee Herman. They are trying to financially rape me. Judge slapped my lawyer around, let F. Lee talk. I didn’t feel good about that. Ok, that’s all I want to say about that.

Work is going well. Things are getting back to normal. They removed mask mandate for those vaccinated. Nazi’s win again. This country is so fucked. California is fucked times infinity. I’m glad I’m on my way out instead of on my way in! πŸ™‚ So I did have my first shot in early June and second one scheduled for 7/01. Nice….I’ll be sick all holiday weekend!

I have started giving some thought to having a personal life. I don’t make much effort now. Sadie was giving me advice a few weekends ago. She told me that I need to dress better and put on make up! haha. She said men won’t like my dirty t-shirts! πŸ™‚ I’m still married legally and just not really into a real relationship at this time. I had a couple simple talk and walk the wharf dates….can’t get into it. I really want a man friend. I need a gay man friend to hang out with! πŸ™‚ Go to restaurants, bars, concerts. I’m a Blues Music lover and a couple good blues clubs here. No offense to women friends, I love women friends. I have a couple of the best. But I miss male companionship besides Peyton and Eli! πŸ™‚ I’ll see….maybe soon.

I still love to cook and prepare all my own meal. I still order all my grocery from imperfectfoods.com and visit my local farmer’s markets. Its become a passion, especially sourdough bread baking. It’s not about the eating, I still have to try to cook for one and not over eat. I cook for the week and put things in containers. I’ve lost about 14 lbs…but I’m at a stand still. I cook and eat my own food so that probably accounted for 14 lbs. Now, I need to cut back to get the rest of the weight off. Or increase exercise. That is my goal!

I still have some minor hip issues sometimes, so long hikes are out for me right now while I’m still healing. Plus I don’t like long hikes alone. Peyton and Eli are mostly unable to do any hiking that is over a couple miles. They both have hip dysplasia and their little back legs get wobbly after a little bit. I try to keep their walks short and simple. They enjoy the pee sniffing and spraying. Who don’t? πŸ™‚ Occasionally I will take them to the beach but they love running in the water, but their bodies pay for it later. They still think they are puppies, so it’s up to me to make sure they don’t overdo it. But I get joy out of watching them on the beach. Much like me. I’m very young in my mind, but my body tells a different story! πŸ™‚

They both have become intolerant of any food that I tried them on. I was spending a fortune on dog food just to have them throw it up! Peyton would just absolutely walk away from it even when he was hungry. They are both very old now, so their stomachs need something different. I consulted my vet about making their own food. I know the combinations of what their diets need. At least it gives me someone to cook for. So now, I make their food. I’ve been doing it for almost a month and I can tell such a difference. Their coats are beautiful! They look like little puppies. πŸ™‚ They are more active. They rarely throw up, with exemption of Eli who eats gross shit and throws it up occasionally. Peyton doesn’t breath heavy as much as he did. He has liver issues. And he is almost completely blind. He can see shadows or movements. Sometimes he gets lost in the yard and I have to help him find his way. I love these dogs. The only thing that mental midget ever gave me in 20 years was these dogs and some excellent appliances for my kitchen!

All in all, I think I am getting back to my old self. I remember a quote my brother used to say “I used to be an Oak, and now I’m a Willow.” Love and Miss you, Barry James Barber.

Another court date tomorrow with my new lawyer, wish me luck!

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