As I have blogged/complained about on here, I’ve been suffering with an ailment (diverticulitis) since this past November when I first found out in an emergency room.
I’ve suffered off and on with it since then. When it flares up or becomes infected, it’s painful beyond words that I can describe. I try to eat my meals in a way that keeps it from flaring up but that is hit and miss with certain foods. I try to keep a log to help me not repeat mistakes.
I’m increasingly becoming worried that it is more but I am in some form of stomach pain almost constantly. The flare ups get my attention because the pain incapacitates me.
I can’t run. I’m tired and sluggish. Sometimes I’m feverish and have irritable bowel syndrome which makes it impossible to run, exercise or enjoy life as I knew it.
I am finally having a colonoscopy which I should have gotten back in November when they recommended. I’ve had one before but this time I fear waking up and finding out that I have something more serious…cancer of course.
I try to think positive but that thought is never far from my mind.
On Monday I’ll have the 3-hour procedure that includes hell the day before of miralax, Gatorade and clear liquids…no food until after the surgery…yeah, a fun Easter for me! J
I am trying to be hopeful that will be the start of fixing me but I am more leaning than it be a long process of not fixing me. I’m not trying to be pessimistic but I am having strange stomach issues.
In addition to watching what I eat, I’ve had 1 beer in almost 4 weeks. I had one after my 5 mile run a couple weeks ago after the St. Patrick’s Day Run in St. Louis. I felt fairly good that day and I enjoyed the 5 challenging miles through the streets of St. Louis. It’s one of my favorite runs. I almost canceled but I just couldn’t. I ran the entire run…slowly but I ran it. I even enjoyed it. So I had a celebratory beer afterwards with Kevin! J
On a good note, I’ve lost 6 lbs. of the 15 lbs. that I had gained since my last marathon. J That was because the antibiotics made everything taste like metal!
I re-registered for the Chicago Marathon (which I deferred last year). I’m excited at the prospect of being able to train well for this. Training is never easy and it’s the worst or at least the most challenging part of a marathon but I suspect I might have a tougher time this year. I want to think that I am that tough person that trained and became a marathoner in 2014. We’ll see.
I’ll be virtual training with my friend, Tammy at VeganRunnerNerd. And we will hopefully get to train in person together in person on one of our long runs. We live about 4 hours apart. What is really exciting is that we will finally get to meet, run together, stay in the same hotel and meet each and each other’s better halves! I’m more excited about than I can express! Since Tammy and my husband (Kevin) are vegan, I guess they won’t get to enjoy Chicago Pizza after the Tammy and I finish the marathon but David and I will! J We will all enjoy good beer for sure. J
I know my life will never be complete (in my mind) unless I say I completed the Chicago Marathon.
After Monday, maybe I can get myself back on track to get well and start back my running.
I don’t feel like a runner anymore which makes me sadder than it I can express. My identity is a “runner” up until lately. So now, I feel like a sick, old woman on the fast track downhill of my life.
The weather is great and I see others run and it torments me to think I am not doing that. That’s something only a runner would understand so maybe I am still a runner?
I’ll leave this post on a positive note.
I’m a runner who can’t run for now. I’m strong but mostly strong-willed and some say stubborn. I will start in earnest putting together my training plan tonight. My poor husband doesn’t know it yet but he will be riding his bike along side of me carrying my fuel, water and shit for me just like the last time…poor bastard. J
But he is the reason I finished my first marathon.